Rudolph the Batnosed Reindeer
by Eediva
Summary: The Justice League celebrate Christmas, starting with a trip to the orphanage and a play. SLASH! BatFlash! Bit of Boostle and Arsewing. One Shot!


Summary: The Justice League celebrate Christmas, starting with a trip to the orphanage and a play. SLASH! BatFlash! Bit of Boostle and Arsewing. One Shot!

**Rudolph the Bat-nosed Reindeer.**

"Wally, what the hell is that?" Bruce asked, as he watched Wally struggle into a tiny green suit.

"It's my elf suit,"

"What on earth is it for?" Bruce said.

"For the play we're preforming for the kids," Wally said. "Supes insisted I dressed up as an elf. Shayera is going as an angel. Supes going as Santa. GL is Joseph and J'onn is one of the three wise kings. And Diana is going as-"

"Why doe she get to go as Mary!?" Shayera snapped as the five other founding members walked into Wally's small apartment. She was dressed in a lovely white gown, with a large silver halo above her head. John was in a brown robe, and J'onn wore dark green robes with gold lining, as Diana was dressed in a blue dress and robe and a baby doll in her arms. "Why do I have to go as the stupid angel?"

"Could it be your wings?" Bruce asked.

"Shut up Rudolph," Shayera said. "I mean, come on. Mary didn't have huge breasts like Diana nor did she dress like her!"

"Hey!" Diana snapped.

"Yeah, and Mary was a virgin too," Bruce said, both women glared at him. Wally grinned. "And why did you call me Rudolph?"

"Because you're going to be Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer," Superman grinned as he handed Bruce a wholly brown over coat, reindeer antenna and a red nose.

"No," Bruce said, returning the suit to Superman.

"Oh come on Bruce,"

"No!"

"It's for the children," Wally said, "I mean I'm dressing as a friggin elf and in green as well, and you know how much I hate that colour."

"No,"

"What's wrong with green?" John asked.

"I concur," J'onn said.

"Bruce, we all have to dress up in something we don't like," Diana said, "I mean this robe is too hot."

"How do you think I feel?" Shayera said, fixing the halo which kept going lopsided. "This stupid halo is driving me nuts."

"Well, there was no devil's present at Christ's birth," Bruce said. Shayera glared at him.

"Bruce you haven't got a choice," Superman said, firmly. "Wally promised those children a good play the Justice League and by **God!** They will get a **GREAT** play by **US**!"

"Oh for Christ's sake," Bruce sighed, as Wally finally finished putting the tight and skimpy elf suit on. Bruce smirked slightly, it brought out Wally's fine pecks and body out quite well. Especially his ass, as he bent over under his bed searching for something. Bruce gave the green ass a firm slap across the left cheek. Wally yelped and jumped up hitting his head against the bed.

"Perhaps Wally needs a larger suit," J'onn said, as Wally slapped Bruce across the shoulder.

"He could always borrow Nightwing's old Robin suit," Bruce shrugged.

"I'm sure you'd like that," Shayera said, smirking.

"I'm going as an elf, not a fairy," Wally said, Bruce snorted as he slipped the brown overcoat. "I'll fix it before we go."

"So what are we doing when we get there?" Bruce asked.

"Mary, Joseph and Wiseman will do a Nativity scene," Superman said, "And then Angel will sing a little song. Then Santa, Elf, and Rudolph come in to hand out presents.."

"What song?" Shayera asked. "I'm not singing!"

"Don't worry, we will sing with you," Superman said, quickly.

"I'm not singing!" Bruce said.

"Will you sing for a Scooby snack?" Wally asked.

"Shut up," Bruce said.

"You two are terrible," Diana said. "This is for those little children."

"I'm sure they can go a day with out me dressed up as a bloody angel and Bruce parading around as a queer," Shayera said.

"That's deer, idiot!" Bruce snapped.

"Oh, for the love of God, Shayera, you _are_ an angel," Wally said, frustrated "You have wings! At least to the kids you will be an angel, we know better!"

"I'm not singing," Shayera said.

----------------

"Flash! Flash!" several young children cheered as Wally zoomed in dressed in his elf suit, only now it was much larger. He still had his Flash cowl on though.

"Hey kids! I hope you've all been good, because I've brought you the best surprise ever!"

"Is it chocolate," a fat boy asked.

"Uh, no," Wally said, "I've brought some of my friends. But you all have to go and sit down by the stage and wait for us to get ready."

"Why are you wearing a fairy suit?" a girl asked.

"I'm an elf," Wally said, bluntly. He zoomed off behind a curtain where Diana and John and Bruce who was currently a donkey got ready.

"I don't believe this!" Bruce said, "Now you tell me I have to be the damn donkey!"

"If we told you earlier you'd never come," Clark said, "Now getting on your hands and knees and carry Diana!"

"Oh for the love of God," Bruce sighed. "Why can't Wally be Mary?"

"Now he is definitely not a virgin," John muttered.

"Hey! I resent that!"

--------------

"Wally said the show would be down at that orphanage," Green Arrow said, as he followed a group of the newer leaguers down the streets of Central City.

"Where about though?" Fire asked, when Dove pointed at the Orphanage. The large group of Leaguers rushed over hoping they weren't too late.

---------------

"Ladies and Gentlemen, kids and kidsettes," Flash grinned, "Welcome to the Nativity, Justice League style. So with out furth- Oh God."

He cringed when he saw Green Arrow, Question, Huntress, Hawk, Dove, Fire, Ice, Supergirl, Booster Gold, Blue Beetle, Vixen, Vigilante, Shining Knight, Star Girl, Aquaman, Nightwing, Arsenal, Blue Devil, Creeper, Black Canary, Impulse, Robin, Superboy, and finally Dr Fate barging in and taking seats around the startled yet happy children.

"Um, yeah with out any further ado," Flash said, less confident then before. "The Nativity, Justice League Style!"

"Wahoooo!!!" Impulse screamed, Robin elbowed him in the side, as the curtains drew open and the lights dimmed.

"Long, long ago, back when the dinosaurs existed," Wally said.

"They were extinct!" Shayera whispered fiercely.

"But then died, to give room to humans, lived a small family of a man and wolf," Wally said, before he stopped. "Who typed this!?"

"Oops," he heard J'onn say as the crowd roared with laughter.

"Any way, a man and his wife lived. They were called Mary and Joseph," Wally said, turning to the stage to find it bare, he waited a minute before he snapped; "THEY WERE CALLED MARY AND JOSEPH!"

Wally found John dressed as Joseph struggling to drag out Diana who was riding on Bruce's back out. Bruce point blank refused to be seen and was doing a good job at it. The crowd was still roaring with laughter as Dove recorded the play on his video camera. _Never know when this may come in useful_, Don thought.

"Move you stubborn ass!" 'Joseph' barked as 'Mary' rubbed her large belly. Bruce smirked before letting out a loud "mooo".

"Bruce, you're a donkey," Superman whispered loudly, as Wally covered his eyes embarrassed.

"hee-haw," Bruce said, moodily, sitting on his behind causing Diana to tumble to the ground. She stood up and walked over to John.

"Hey John, I think the baby is coming," Diana said. Wally slapped his forehead. "What?"

"Joseph!" Wally growled.

"Whoops," Diana said, "Joseph you need to get me to a hospital! NOW!"

"But there was no hospitals," Wally said, deciding to go with the flow. _Why didn't we rehearse this!?_ "So they walked around leaving the mule where he was, cause it was the lazy fat bast- never mind what he was, but Mary and Joseph found them selves a stable because they couldn't find a proper place to have the child."

"Damn the shopping season," John said.

"And then the baby decided it was time to come," Flash said, as he read from his script unimpressed. J'onn must have been drunk when he wrote this. Diana stood around doing nothing, as John impatiently tapped his foot. "Mary! Jesus is coming!"

"Oh," Diana said, dropping to the floor.

"Ditzy idiot," Shayera said, loudly.

"Hey!" Diana growled.

"And then Jesus was born!" Wally said, happily as Diana placed the doll inside the small cradle in the middle of the stage. The young children cheered as Diana and John sat next to the cradle. "Then one of the three wise kings came in and gave baby Jesus a gift!"

J'onn floated in and placed a chocolate rabbit beside the cradle. "I give you chocolate, in hopes you live a rich life."

"Wrong Christian celebration J'onn," Wally sighed. "Every one sat around the infant as an angel floated down from the sky and began to sing!"

"I am not going to sing," Shayera snapped, as she floated above the group. The music began to play as the crowd began to clap to the music. Shayera sighed as she began to sing the song.

_Angels we have heard on high_

_Sweetly singing over the plains_

_And the mountains in reply,_

_Echoing their joyous strains._

The group joined in for the chorus

_Glo-ori-a_

_In excelsis de-o_

_Glo-ori-a_

_In excelsis de-o_

-------------------

"Well the play was a success," Bruce said, as he changed into his Rudolph out fit. He placed the antenna over the Bat cowl as Wally carried the large sack of presents for the orphans. He handed it to Superman.

"Success?" Wally asked, looking angry, "It's absolutely sucked!"

"Well the kids loved it!" Shayera said, "Especially when the donkey tripped over and fell on Mary."

"It was meant to be a serious play about the nativity! Not some stupid laugh!" Wally snapped. "I mean none of you even remembered your lines!"

"You really want to give these children the best don't you," J'onn said.

"Yes!" Wally said.

"Wally I think you being here is enough for them," Diana smiled.

"But-"

"Oh relax, love, they all love it, especially the party crashers," Bruce said, "Besides if I'm not complaining, then why the hell are you?"

"Come on Wally, You need to introduce Super Santa," Superman said. He was dressed in the tradition Santa outfit but his 'S' symbol was visible to the eye. Wally nodded as he placed his elf hat over his cowl and walked out to the stage.

"Hello again everyone!" Wally said, falling straight into action. The kids cheered as Wally walked to the middle of the stage. "The best part of the night has started-"

"You're gonna do a strip show?" Arsenal called out, Nightwing hit him across the head. Wally smirked when Arsenal gave Nightwing a long peck on the lips. The children gave an 'ohhh'

"Children, ignore that jacka-daw over there," Wally said. "Who knows what time of the night it is?"

"Sleep time?" a child shouted.

"No," Wally sighed, "Santa Clause is coming to town! It's Super Santa!"

The children screamed happily and Superman flew out holding the sack of presents in one hand and Rudolph with the other. He landed beside Wally and dropped Bruce so the reindeer landed on his feet.

"And his brought Rudolph with him!" Wally cheered. "Kids, say hello to Rudolph!"

"Helllllloo!!!" the children yelled.

"HO! HO! HO!" Clark said, "Wally, my little helper, who do we give our first present to?"

"Me! PICK ME!!" Impulse yelled.

"I was here first!" Superboy cried.

"You're presents are in my other sack," Super Santa snapped as he sat down on a chair. Diana had a camera in her hand ready to take photos. "In the one filled with coal!"

"Aww," Impulse and Superboy sighed.

"The first present goes to Roy," Wally grinned handing the present to Santa. A little black haired boy ran up to Super Santa and jumped on his lap. Super Santa also found Arsenal on his lap.

"Wally, where is my sack of coal!?" Super Santa asked, pushing Arsenal back to the crowd.

"I'm Roy!" The boy snapped at Arsenal before he grinned for the camera.

"HO! HO! HO!" Super Santa said, as Roy ran down with the present in his arms "Wally, who is the next child?"

"Sammy!" Wally grinned, a tiny blonde girl stood up timidly and tip-toed over towards the three on the stage.

"Today would be nice," Rudolph snapped.

"Shut up, Rudolph," Super Santa said, "I don't pay you to speak!"

"You don't pay me at all!" Rudolph said as the girl stopped before Santa uncertainly.

"Come on, Sammy, go get your present," Wally said, as Super Santa picked her up and sat her on his lap. The girl's facial expression fell as she began to sob.

"I want my teddy!" she bawled. Super Santa put her down as Wally gave her a cuddle.

"Did the big fat guy scare you," Wally asked, handing her the present.

"Uh-huh," she sniffed.

"I'm not fat, its muscle!"

--------------------

After thirty or more children, the sack was finally empty.

"Okay guys, its know time to sing a few Christmas carols!" Wally grinned. "What do you guys wanna sing first!?"

"Batman the red-nosed reindeer!" Robin called out.

"That's Rudolph!" A boy cried out.

"Well let's sing that song then!" Wally cheered. "Batdeer, you should start the song!"

"Yay!" the children cheered as Bruce rolled his eyes.

He decided against singing and spoke instead:

'_You know Dasher and Dancer_

_And Prancer and Vixen,_

_Comet and Cupid_

_And Donner and Blitzen._

_But do you recall_

_The most famous reindeer of all?'_

The children all screamed and then joined in with the singing. So did the Leaguers.

'_Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer_

"Reindeer" Impulse, Robin and Superboy sung.

_Had a very shiny nose_

"Like a light bulb" they were joined in by Arsenal.

_And if you ever saw it_

"Saw it," and Booster Gold, who was doing a little jig around the room, much to Blue Beetle's dislike. Especially when he was dragged into the dance by Booster and twirled around.

_You would even say it glows_

"Like a flash light," grinned Dove as he joined in and recorded the entire crowd.

_All of the other reindeer_

"Reindeer," muttered Hawk, he ready to leave and hit a pub.

_Used to laugh and call him names_

"Like Pinocchio," Supergirl and Stargirl joined in as though they were with a boy band.

_They never let poor Rudolph_

"Rudolph," Shayera joined in handing her halo to a child.

_Play in any reindeer games_

"Like Monopoly,"

_Then one foggy Christmas Eve_

_Santa came to say_

Wally pointed at Super Santa as Clark bellowed out a tremendous; "_Ho, Ho, Ho,_ Rudolph with your nose so bright won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"

_Then all the reindeer loved him_

"Loved him," Creeper screeched.

_And they shouted out with glee_

"Yippee," Dr Fate yelped.

_Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer_

"Reindeer,"

_You'll go down in history!_

"Like Booster Gold!" Booster Gold shouted. The crowd fell silent and stared at him. "What?"

--------------

"Well that was an absolute waste of time," Hank said as they large group of leaguers head out of the orphanage. He got a collected sound of groans and laughter as Don looked appalled.

"Hank! How can you say such a thing!? All those poor children have no parents and almost no hope!" Don cried. "But we gave them that hope today!"

"Nice one, Hank," Booster moodily.

"See, Michael agrees with me!" Don said, happy with himself, for finally reaching someone.

"That's Booster! And I said that cause he opened your friggin mouth," Booster said. "I'm gonna go down to a pub, Flash what's the best joint around here?"

"Ramon's, its on Ninth Street," Wally said.

"You're going to spend your Christmas at a pub," Blue Beetle asked.

"Well, yeah," Booster said, before Beetle leaned in and whispered something in his ear. "Yeah, uh, maybe I like your idea better."

"Thought you would,"

"What idea? Can I come!?" Impulse asked.

"NO!" Wally cried pulling his young partner away from the two men.

"Can we go?" Beetle complained, not to happy about the thought of being joined by a thirteen year old.

"Okay," Booster said, before throwing Beetle over his shoulder and flying off.

"Hey!" Beetle screamed.

"Merry Christmas, everyone!" Booster called out.

"Who's coming to the pub with me?" Hank asked, as he threw his arm around his brother.

"Me!" Shayera said. "Diana you gonna come?"

"Sure," Diana said.

"Can I go?" Superboy asked, as he perved at Diana.

"No," Superman said. "Besides we have to go home."

"Hey Wall-er Flash, can we go with Superboy?" Impulse asked.

"Yeah, Batman, can we?" Robin asked.

"Sure they can," Superman grinned, "the more the merrier."

"Yeah!" The three teens cheered.

"Damn," Supergirl sighed.

"Thank the Lord," Batman sighed, relieved.

------------------

"Now this is what I call a Christmas," Wally grinned as a stroked Bruce's black hair. "Sitting here, beside the warm fire, eating marshmallows with you."

"I wonder what Booster and Beetle are up to," Bruce smiled. "Can we get up to that too?"

"I don't see why not," Wally grinned. "So how do reindeer do it?"

Bruce smirked as Wally got on his hands and knees.

"So are you gonna hop on and let me carry you to bed?" Wally asked.

"Sure, why not?" Bruce grinned.

----------------

End!

Well, that's my X-mas story for the year. I gave you lot this so give me reviews as a return… please…

Peace and Chicken Grease.


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